Breaking Pattern of Being Used in the Relationship
Updated: Apr 2
Existing model of giving away free session to get coaching clients leads you to feel used at the end of it. And... guess what! This is exactly where you subconscious mind takes you, when left to its own devices.
Yes, our relationships, personal and professional, are driven to deliver us the experience we secretly want... even if we declare otherwise.
You may write in your journal the qualities of men and clients you deeply desire, and in reality meet suiters and prospects who use you, reject you, or disappoint you one way or another.
Why is that!?
And, most importantly, how to align our subconscious desires with what we say we want?
First of all, understand, that you will always see the reflection of yourself in people around you.
So, a one forceful method, would be to change your environment and try to adjust as much as you can to the new ways of living, new standards and new rules of communication. Learn from the future, if you want.
Another, slower method, is to 'work on yourself' and see your environment naturally change.
I had seen the effect of spiritual growth in lives of my clients. Loosing 'less than perfect' friends and partners, meeting new groups and communities, finding a soulmate, serving new type of clientele, happens pretty quickly for people who change the way they are.
One thing you do need to prepare for, is to be ready to leave yourself behind.
It can be hard.
We had lived with our identity our whole lives.
How old are you?
That's exactly how long you had been 'your self'.
What's you plan to 'giving up on that'?
I believe business is your spiritual path.
This means, that business can teach, heal and grow you if you want to succeed.
You can't run away from your results. You would have to stop impulsive relative behavior, driven by old subconscious patterns, and use practical strategic approach to making it in business.
When I went to my 6 figures for the first time, I had to be strict with myself.
I had to say 'no' and set boundaries... not because people were 'bad', but because no matter who I would deal with, I would always arrive to the same exact destination, feeling 'used' at the end of that encounter. Here's a video training where I show how that new dynamic affected my friendships.
Here I describe in detail how I did it. Wasn't easy, but, sure, guaranteed the success I was consciously looking for. And, in a shortest period of time!
I invite you to compassionately see where these patters and secret desires had originated from. Most likely, your childhood.
You love your parents, of course, and can't help but deliver them what they asked you to.
If they, themselves, looked to be angry, you made sure to rebel and frustrate them. Maybe, this is what you are still doing in your business and your life. And, on the practical level, that completely spoils you chances to sell your services to awesome peaceful clients. It affects your relationship with your spouse and your kids. For some reason, you are always end up with the confrontational and angry people around you.
Maybe, one of your parent needed a lot of cheering up, and you are still 'entertaining' people, instead of producing the marketing that actually converts.
Maybe, you dad had never paid attention, and, as a little girl, you had to jump hoops to get any love at all... and now you work so, so hard, to just get a 'like'.
I feel for you.
Don't think that this is all there is!
I managed to change my life around.
With 100% devoting myself to my big transformation.
I changed myself and therefore I changed my results.
You can do the same!
So, here are three powerful tools to change the dynamic of your sales calls:
Tell people transparently, its a sales call. Stop manipulation, you'll get people on the call who are ready to buy from you, instead of 'use you'.
Have an Application Form people have to fill in, so you can give them the real answer to their question, instead of 'collecting data' on the call. You must give before expecting to receive. Most 'sales scripts' drag the dead cat by the tail, and make your prospect feel manipulated. Stop that dynamic immediately. It does not lead to sales!
Preview your prices in your marketing, so people are prepared to pay you on the call. Dropping the bomb at the end of the call isn't a good idea, if you actually want to get paid. Be smart! Think why people wouldn't buy from you and answer their objections with making your offer truly irresistible.
Everything I had told you is a practical way to increase your sales. It is not driven by subconscious desire to fail, feel used or rejected. It's just something that works.
Watch us here celebrate my clients wins! They specifically say how the NEW practical approach to sales had made all the difference for them.
Here is my amazing client and my own former therapist and a coach shares how stopping being afraid of rejection, and cutting off the old manipulative ways she was thought to sell before, had helped her sell her coaching at $700/hr!
This superstar made her entire previous year income in just 2 months of working with me. This is just a couple of week into my program. She went from selling hypnosis session for $100/hr to charging $1000/hr and creating a $10K mastermind groups.
Please, whatever you heard about sales, don't buy into how hard or impossible it is.
Break the subconscious pattern of feeling rejected, or used, or disappointed with life and people.
You are a grown up now.
You can choose your destination!
I'm not just saying it because it's easy.
I'm saying it because I had done it.
My clients had done.
And, I know, with all my heart, you can do it too!
It doesn't need to take a long time either!
Come and join my $100K in 100 Days Challenge
to see yourself break through and break free.
I'll be on your side for 100 DAYS! helping you with mindset, emotional healing and most importantly, PRACTICAL strategies and accountability to get yourself exactly what you say you want!
Say NO to BS excuses.
Embrace the new SUCCESSFUL woman that you are.
I want you in!
Author: Lira Kay
Lira Kay is an international bestselling author, founder of School Of Inspired Life, a professional training center for expert coaches and healers to become world-class and in high demand.
Lira has been assisting people to transform their lives for almost 30 years, through spiritual healing workshops, psychotherapy, art, international curatorial projects, coaching, speaking and publishing.
Lira started her life coaching business 7 years ago and successfully led many transformational programs, such as 90 Days to Love, Be Phenomenal: Mindset To Empower, $10K From Monday To Friday and a $100K in 100 Days Challenge.
Her most popular one year programs Advanced Coaches and Healers Certification and Founders Lounge help successful coaches and thought leaders launch their own schools and academies and creates a solid foundation for a 7-figure transformational business.
After traveling the world Lira lives in Walnut Creek, CA with her husband and their 5 daughters. You can learn more about Lira’s work at www.schoolofinspiredlife.com