Love Life Special!
Updated: Feb 19
THE TOP 10 WAYS THAT WOMEN PAINFULLY, EMBARRASSINGLY, CONSTANTLY FAIL WITH MEN... AND WHAT YOU MUST DO INSTEAD
Your Guide to Passionate Love Life that You want.
(Hey, Superstar! Before I started helping women TO RESPECT THEIR SPIRITUAL GIFTS AND SKILLS, teach them how to 10 X their coaching fees and launch their own academies, schools and certifications, I had been a relationship coach, couples coach, even a health coach... and had honor to support women and a few chosen men to have a better love life!
.... So this article was written, now years back, but I find it so relevant to my clients and all the women coaches and healers I work with, including myself :)
BTW in any of my masterminds we pay HUGE attention to personal life, love and health. Everybody who joins my programs gets to have my bestselling Summer Camp Program. Check this out!
I want to thank you for showing up to read my "Relationship Tips" article... Here I will share some critical information about men and relationships that will have an IMMEDIATE impact on your dating and having an awesome relationship success... But first off... Let's make sure that you can use my special tips for DATING also in your BUSINESS! Grab my "How to Attract the Right Clients, Just Like in Dating Workshop here for free (packed with insights into the secret psychology of attraction and how to meet, date and keep desirable men (and perfect clients!) in your inbox.
Take a quick moment to add me to your address book. It's EASY. Great!
Now that we've got that handled... As you know, I've spent the last two decades figuring out how to be more successful with men, dating, relationships... and helping other women do the same. After completing my psychology degree, having been married, studding and researching successful couples, and inspiring women, reading all kinds of books, listening to tapes and going to seminars, I found that nothing that was "commercially available" seemed to actually WORK on a consistent basis. After getting to know teachers who were EXPERTS with men, women and relationships... and finally testing and refining what I learned to come up with a system that WORKS. This is EXACTLY why I'm going to send you a newsletter just like this every couple of days, sharing MANY of the secrets I've learned about how men and love attraction works, how anyone, yes, anyone, can enjoy a great passionate relationship and feel supported and loved.
But for now, let's get to them...
Here come the top ten reasons why women fail with men - and how to make sure YOU avoid every one of these deadly common mistakes.
Now, I recommend that you really study these, because most women are making them RIGHT NOW and don't even realize it.
Here we go...
MISTAKE #1: BEING A PERFECT GIRL
Have you ever noticed that so many men never seem to be attracted to perfect girls?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've seen many of your girlfriends striving to be the perfect women only to end up with guys who were never seriously interested in having a great fulfilling romantic relationship with them. Perhaps, you had been trying to be one of those perfect women yourself, and had experienced rejection despite all of your tricks and efforts to appear a flawless goddess you thought you needed to be.
What’s going on here? It's actually very simple...
According to the latest studies on dating and love psychology, and guess what, a common knowledge, men don't base their choices of women on how much of a perfect woman she is. They choose the woman they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being perfect doesn't make a man feel that powerful attraction.
Being perfect and doing everything right doesn't make a man choose you. Can it in fact put him off from trying to approach you in a first place?
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to accept... I mean, all of your hard work…but you need to get over it if you want to change how men respond to you. Trust me, the answer is much simpler than you think.
MISTAKE #2: TRYING TO "PERSUADE" HIM TO LIKE YOU What do most girls do when they meet a man that they really like... but he's just not interested? Right! They try to "persuade" the man to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, ever ! You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with logic and reasoning. Think about it. If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that feeling by explaining to him how good and awesome you are? But we all do it. When a man just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, compromise and do our best to change his mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: LOOKING TO HIS FOR APPROVAL OR PERMISSION In our desire to please men, which we mistakenly think will make them like us, us girls are always doing things to get a man's approval or permission. Another TERRIBLE idea. Men are never attracted to the types of women who put themselves down for them... ever. Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat men badly for them to like you. But if you think that treating a man well means "always getting his approval and permission for things," think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Men actually get ANNOYED at women who seek their approval. In fact they get freaked out. They find it needy.
MISTAKE #4: TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION PLAYING RELATIONSHIP GAMES You know what I mean. Right? How many times have you tried to manipulate a guy into a relationship only to find he is not fully invested? At the beginning it might work, luring him in with a promise of sex, affection, understanding, might work at the very beginning. He’ll buy it to get what he wants. He’ll play along until it suits him. But then what?
Are you prepared to play games with him all your life? I mean, really?
How long can you sustain your master-mind never-ending plot? What if you break down one day, and show him the real you?
Can we all agree, nobody likes being manipulated, or played, not even men.
MISTAKE #5: SHARING YOUR LONG TERM PLANS TOO EARLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM Another huge, and unfortunate, mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they had planned out a perfect relationship with them too early on. Men get that a LOT. And they never take it as a compliment. For that exact reason. They have heard the exited women talking about family values, weddings and children just so many times.
That's right. They have experience. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an guy off and sends him running away faster than just about anything is a girl who starts saying "You know, I really, really like you, and I think we are meant to be together. We must be soul-mates. I just feel it,” after one or two dates. Come on! This signals to the man that you're just like all the other women who fall not for him, but for the idea of getting married, way too fast... Really, you only just met!
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #6: NOT GETTING HOW A LONG-TERM ATTRACTION WORKS FOR MEN
Most women think that men’s attraction is manly based on looks. That is why they spend so much time looking good, spending endless amount of money and time on appearance.
When a man sees a beautiful woman, he may instantly feel a sexual attraction. Why not? But would he go out his way to keep this woman as a girlfriend or even a wife? Would he even approach her given a choice? Do men have a criteria for women based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic, I can tell you that men usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things other than just looks. Have you ever noticed that you see plenty of average and plain looking women having perfectly fine relationships with pretty awesome guys? Think about it. Men, just like women, are more attracted to certain qualities in women... and they're more attracted to the way a woman makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful attraction to you that YOU feel for him. It's not an accident. You have to learn how to do this. But the great news is that ANY woman can learn to do it.
If you'd like a FAST, SUCCESS-GUARANTEED lesson on making men start paying attention to you (without YOU ever having to say a word, or the man even REALIZING why he's suddenly feeling it for you) then read on:
If A Man Likes How He Feels When He Meets You… It Doesn’t Matter What You Say, What You Look Like or How Cool You Are.
MISTAKE #7: THINKING THAT IT TAKES LOOKS AND BEING YOUNG One of the most common mistakes that girls make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that guys are only interested in women who have looks... or women who are a certain bra size… or women who are a certain age, well, the young ones. And sure, there are some men who are only interested in these things. But MOST men are far more interested in how a woman makes him FEEL. There are personality traits that attract men like a magnet... And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these girls, and you don't have to "settle" for a man just because you aren't strikingly beautiful, young, or super witty and intelligent. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that he would feel when he sees a hot, confident young woman.
BUSINESS AND DATING (guess what! Attraction works the same way! Why are you attracting the WRONG PROSPECTS, who always have an objective or two on your sales calls... How to turn it around and become MAGNETIC to the PERFECT IDEAL CLIENTS you want - grab my "How to Attract the Right Clients, Just Like in Dating Workshop here for free (packed with insights into the secret psychology of attraction and how to meet, date and keep desirable men (and ATTRACT your perfect clients!) in your inbox.
MISTAKE #8: GIVING AWAY ALL OF YOUR POWER TO MEN Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a man for approval or permission... Well, another similar tactic that a lot of girls use is giving away their power to men. Said differently, girls try to get men to like them by doing whatever the man wants. Another bad idea... Men are NEVER attracted to women that they can walk all over... Men aren't attracted to Doormats!
Pablo Picasso said, “There are only two types of women – goddesses and doormats.” Which are you?
If you were a man you want to have a relationship with, which one would you choose? MISTAKE #9: NOT KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WITH MEN ONCE THEY HAD APPROACHED YOU Now I'm really going to blow your mind... Did you know that a man ALWAYS knows what you're thinking? We are all programmed at reading body language. Before anything else! I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a man, and you really like him, he knows it. And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to express that, and you just sit there looking at him and getting nervous, he might not help! Why? Because he might be nervous himself. And this goes for ALL aspects of men and dating… Attracting a man, getting to know him, moving forward in a relationship… everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it. It is vitally important that you know exactly how to go from one step to the next with a man... from the first meeting, all the way to the isle and into your happily ever after. Yes, knowing what to do doesn’t end with you marring him. There’s so much to learn about relationships! MISTAKE #10: NOT GETTING HELP This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that keeps most women from ever having the kind of success with men that they truly want. I know, girls can admit they are hopeless at relationships or dating the right kind of guys. Yet, many don't like to ask for help. Hey, I've been there myself. Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful in being in a relationship...
In my teens I spent a lot times watching popular girls being surrounded with boys, wondering why is that? How can they do it? They were not even that great looking. Just something about them. And why I with all my wit and my efforts to look gorgeous, ended up.. well, just that…wondering?
I remember really liking this a guy in my high school. I wanted him to ask me out, but I just couldn't in any ways express it or show it.
Later on, at the prom, I was chosen to be a prom queen, well, an equivalent of that in where I come from. It was a decision made by all of the guys in my year.
Really? And I spent two years of my high school dreaming about going out with this guy, thinking I’m not worth his attention. If only I had ever showed him, if only I knew how.
We met again about a year later, he came to visit me in my new city (I had left my hometown straight after the graduation). You know, he told me, he was too scared to ask me out for years. How sad is that!
So I was too perfect, trying too hard to look good, learning everything about dating games and rules… never brave enough to be myself, be vulnerable, say what I want, have standards.
I can still remember that day I put him back on his train (I was in a middle dating somebody already, and the tension was gone)… right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful in love and relationships. I learned how to show a right guy I am interested, I am ready to open up, make him feel wanted and welcoming. Since that day at the train station I had gone a long way. I was said to attract people, not just men, instantly. I know that and I like feeling attractive. Do I have a body of a top-model? Do I spend hours in a salon grooming myself, getting dressed in the most flattering clothes? Well, if you knew me personally you would laugh. I am the least pretentious or well maintained woman you’d know. Attraction is not about that. It is not about your looks. Remember? It has been a very rewarding experience. Not just with men, but at work, being on public, speaking, performing, presenting…I no longer feel that scared, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to be with a guy...
I know how to be myself in a relationship, sustaining my values, getting what I want and what I need. I've written many articles on the topic, and I've done seminars, webinars... and taught hundreds of women to feel confident and attractive. BTW in any of my masterminds we pay HUGE attention to personal life, love and health. Everybody who joins my programs gets to have my bestselling Summer Camp Program. Check this out! You can be applying in literally MINUTES from right now.
Author: Lira Kay
Lira Kay is an international bestselling author, founder of School Of Inspired Life, a professional training center for expert coaches and healers to become world-class and in high demand.
Lira has been assisting people to transform their lives for almost 30 years, through spiritual healing workshops, psychotherapy, art, international curatorial projects, coaching, speaking and publishing.
Lira started her life coaching business 6 years ago and successfully led many transformational programs, such as 90 Days to Love, Be Phenomenal: Mindset To Empower, $10K From Monday To Friday and a $100K in 100 Days Challenge.
Her most popular one year programs Advanced Coaches and Healers Certification and Founders Lounge help successful coaches and thought leaders launch their own schools and academies and creates a solid foundation for a 7-figure transformational business.
After traveling the world Lira lives in Walnut Creek, CA with her husband and their 5 daughters. You can learn more about Lira’s work at www.schoolofinspiredlife.com